WARNING: Content on this blog maybe be triggering and includes, but it is not limited to, sexual abuse, sexual assault, physical abuse, self-mutilation, suicide, and eating disorders. Take care when reading.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

What's on my mind...

I've been feeling "stuck" for a very long time.  I keep feeling the same way I've always felt and doing the same things I've always done and I'm not getting anywhere. 

I used to have a pet hamster that would run around in his little stationary wheel for hours on end.  He never got anywhere, but he kept running all the same.  Right now I feel like that hamster.  I feel like running, figuratively speaking, is all I know how to do.  Actually dealing with life and facing my problems?  That is a terrifying thought!

However, I've reached the point where I'm tired of running in place while life is passes me by.  I want to live so badly and there are so many things I want to do!  The people who hurt me destroyed my life and took so much away from me that I can never get back.  It's up to me to decide whether I'm going to let them dictate the rest of my life or if I'm going to take charge of my future.  It sounds like such a simple choice to make, but I have always felt so weak and powerless.  I think I've been waiting for someone to rescue me and fix me.  Now I know that only I can transform my life.  I need to stop thinking like a victim and start thinking like a survivor!

Let's try this again!

Wow, I can't believe it's been over six months since I started this blog! Of course, I never went as far as actually posting anything.  I guess I'm not sure where to start.  Do I give a brief summary of my life or do I just jump right in and start writing whatever is on my mind?  Well, since I'm the only person reading this drivel at the moment I guess it doesn't matter.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Here we go...

I'm starting this blog to document all of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences as I try to heal.  I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but I need a place where I can get it all out.